Earlier this week, a friend of mine wrote to let me know she was preparing to start her own business (further proof that, for many of us, life truly does begin at 40), and that she was feeling scared, and that she’d found encouragement in my post about magic and possibility. (“Reality is about 65% if.”)
If I can do nothing else for this community of generous noticers and giving creative spirits, it is to let you know:
Yes you can. And you’re going to love it.
If you are sitting there nodding but still grappling with the reality of taking a big step — starting a business, leaving a job, taking a demotion to pursue something you love, let me ask: what is stopping you? Really, what is it? If it is financial, that is one matter, and a tough one. (I could talk at length about this as it pertains to young entrepreneurs — you must be clear-eyed about the fact that you will likely not make any money for a long time; how long can you truly sustain yourself with no salary? Are you willing to move in with your parents and eat ramen? Really, really. Map out a year without salary. Is it doable for you? This is something that cannot be overstated. The exception to the rule is the hockey stick growth chart. For most of us, it takes a long time to become. Every overnight success story is ten years in the making.)
But if it is voices of criticism (real or imagined — often-times the imagined ones are the most vicious), I always try to evaluate how much attention I should be giving them. (Are they the howling wolves?). If I find myself not doing something I’m driven to do because of what someone might say, that person holds power over me — and I ask myself: am I OK with that locus of control? Is it permissible; is it healthy? Sometimes there are such voices. For example, I routinely evaluate my own decision-making through the lens of what my paernts and husband might say, or think. I do this because I trust their opinions and expertise, and I know that they will only ever act out of love and my best interests. So if I am contemplating doing or writing something, and I imagine them reacting with confusion, or hurt, or disquiet, I will often pull the project. But I’m OK with that balance of power.
Now, if it is your own inner voice holding you back — well, welcome to the messy middle of the entrepreneurial journey. My inner voice is as Janus-faced as they come. I can sit down to an essay on a Monday and think: “Amazing, Jen, wow, you nailed it” and sit down on a Tuesday and look at the same page with the same words and say, “That’s total and absolute garbage.” This, though, is the creative’s condition: it is impossible to get enough critical distance from your own work to assess it fairly. (And it may be a fool’s errand anyway, as once I release my work into the world, it ceases to belong to me entirely. It takes on new legs and wings and hearts and feet as you, the reader, pass it through the filters of your own experience.) I think all creatives must find a way to balance healthy delusion with humility. That is, you must somehow believe you can do something as well as or better than other people in the same space as you, and you must also continuously question your own handiwork in the name of improvement. The sooner you accept this cognitive dissonance, the better.
And finally, if it is some unknown collective of voices — what your boss might say when you quit, what your friends might say when you announce you’re leaving your comfortable and respected job to pursue the unknown, what some person on LinkedIn might think of you changing your title and role — well, most people aren’t going to give what you do much thought, so you might as well do as you please. This is not because people are heartless; it’s because they are wrapped up in their own wild and precious lives, as they should be.
What I mean is —
No one is paying attention to your life as much as you are, so you might as well —
Go blonde to see if you’ll have more fun;
Play against type;
Read what you like;
Order the burger when everyone else is ordering the salad, or vice versa;
Laugh when you whiff;
Take the selfie;
Pursue whatever you are passionate about as far and fiercely as you can;
Wear the edgy ear cuff, or the barrel jeans–or don’t!;
Ask stupid questions;
Hit publish;
Let your actions advertise your true self.
Onward, Magpies!
Post-Scripts.
+More words of encouragement for disillusioned creatives.
+My favorite motivation mantra.
+Footholds to lean on.
+11 Magpie self-portraits in miniature.
Shopping Break.
+My favorite notebooks are buy one, get one 40% off this week! Use code BOGONOTEBOOKS. Thanks to a Magpie for the tip off!
+Dorsey paracords are back available for pre-order! These sold out within 48 hours last time!
+We have been burning this “roma tomato” candle around the clock and it is absolutely divine. Smells like a sun-ripened vine. Earthy, vegetal, fresh.
+Love this sardine motif scarf. I’d layer over a white tee and jeans with simple leather sandals.
+Cleobella sent us a code that is valid only through Sunday — jenshoop20. I am packing this outfit of theirs (tried it on here) and this fantastic swimsuit (opaque, runs tts, very flattering!) for spring break!
+Chic and affordable scalloped jute rug.
+OBSESSED with this sun hat. I have a similar style from Jenni Kayne that I wore all last summer, but I’m kind of in love with that red trim!
+While we’re talking Jenni Kayne, I keep coming back to this breezy linen dress of theirs. It’s capturing that French chateau vibe I’ve been writing about — easy, earthy, breezy, barefoot living.
+I’ve never shopped at M. Gemi before, but I was struck by their new sandal offerings — these and these are incredibly chic!
+Love these scalloped acrylic frames.
+OK, this crossbody wallet on a chain is SO GOOD.
+Chic shirting stripe shorts.
+Love these shoes from Ann Mashburn.
+Gorgeous framed intaglios.
+Our favorite wipeable but very chic acrylic placemats.
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Striking a balance between healthy delusion and humility! Such a great way to put it. 🙂 xoxo
Right?! I flit from one of those branches to the other multiple times a day, and sometimes even with a sentence.
xx
Thank you for this! I’m on the precipice of a big career change. I am planning to leave my job of 12 years to try something completely different and with a new identity (entrepreneur!)This is uncommon in the medical profession, and I have been working very diligently to silence all the unhelpful voices in my head. I am ready, though! Ready to take a leap, hold true to my values and practice medicine as my authentic self. Thank you for the encouragement!
Yay Ash! We’re all cheering you on — I’m so glad these words arrived at the tight time! You have the right mentality!!! Keep going!
xx
I’ve been wanting to purchase the Flamingo Estate tomato candle but just couldn’t stomach the price. On a recent visit to Each Peach in Mt Pleasant I discovered this tomato candle from Kobo candles that is about half the price and pretty similar in smell, at least from what I remember! Very happy with it until I can justify the one from Flamingo.
Thank you so much for the intel!! xx
This!!!! Thank you, Jen!
This is everything, Jen! In this vein, have you read any of Anne Helen Petersen’s writing about The Portal? I was thinking about in relation to the other day about patron eras and the chateau and so on. The suredness and self-knowledge and maturity as we grow in our 30s and beyond feels like such rich ground for the carpe yolo of it all… Would love your thoughts! xx
Carpe yolo! Love that phrase. I haven’t read about The Portal but I do subscribe to AHP and dip my beak every now and then. Going to look this up — thank you! xx