One thing I’ve learned in my 30s: the body is bad at keeping secrets. It will tell you when something is wrong, when you’ve been getting too little sleep, when you are not caring for yourself, when you are taking on too much. I find my body especially “noisy” when I am stressed. It wants to yell about the stress I’m experiencing on a megaphone, and in weird, annoying voices that sound like: muscle twitches, acid reflux, headaches, poor sleep, and other irritating although mainly harmless manifestations.
I have been burning the candle at both ends since we returned from Disney. I’m usually more mindful about my time, more stubborn about dodging “busyness” and more determined to find white space in my calendar, but sometimes everything lands at once, you know? And a lot of the “landings” right now are blessings. I will not complain! And also, it’s healthy to remind myself: it has been a lot! I know some of you Magpie moms will relate: a friend recently referred to May as “the Other December,” and the head of school called it “May-os” (rhyming with chaos). I’d never thought of it that way, but it does feel a bit like the walls are closing in. There is so much going on at the end of the school year, and with the transition to summer programs and summer activities and summer care, and especially with us in the midst of transferring our daughter to a new school (we’ve had two “new family” events this week alone). All blessings, but busy. I know I’m not alone in feeling as though I’m barely hanging on — thank God for the “safety mechanism” of the Mom’s Group text message chain, which reminds me at 7:02 a.m. that it’s pizza day, or noon dismissal, or whatever. I’ve frankly never felt so scattered in my life, although I know this is because I am giving every spare minute to my book, and to a few other exciting projects I cannot wait (!!!!) to tell you about. (Think…stuff you really want. Hehe.)
I am working to make peace with this temporary feeling of out-of-sortsness. Difficult as a “dotted i and crossed t” person — but I keep thinking that when I zoom out on my life, I think I’ll care more about making this book the best that I possibly can versus dropping a ball on signing up for something, or sending my children into school in uniforms from the laundry bin (yikes, can’t tell you how often this happens). In other words, I’m trying hard to recognize which of the balls I’m juggling are glass, and which are plastic. And also reminding myself that this, too, is temporary. Isn’t that what it all comes down to? Getting comfortable with the fact that everything in life — the good, the bad — is impermanent?
Back to my original point, though: earlier this week, I woke up to an alarming email about a project I’ve been working on, and my body broke out in a full sweat. I could feel my heart skitter away from me. 6:39 a.m., I was in full flight or fight mode, pajamas sticking to my body. I knew even as my body rioted in response that the issue at hand was not insurmountable, and that I’d find a path forward, and I had the wherewithal (i.e., perspective that comes with age) to gently tell my body “It will be OK, toots. Hang in there.” And I did that by putting on my running shoes and hitting the pavement. 30 minutes of welcome sweat later, I felt like a new woman. But the experience reminded me that my body is talking to me at all times, and that I need to listen to it, and then answer. I know I need to get to a place with more margin — a place where an errant email won’t send my body into a state of distress — and I also know I’ll get there after this temporary busy season. In the meantime, I’ll rely on simple things to whisper back to my body: it’s OK. Things like exercising, forgoing alcohol, drinking more water, taking a walk to the end of the block. Things like taking care of myself as though sick. And also, more difficult things (for me), like asking for help, or admitting I can’t make something work, or rescheduling.
Mainly I’m reaching for self-nurture and grace during this time. Go easy, friend! We’re almost there!
Sunday Shopping.
(Above, on my desk, sampling all the fabulous Maison D’Etto scents earlier this month. I wrote about them quite a bit this week, but the Durban Jane is absolutely exceptional. I ordered the full size, but you can also use this discovery set to find your favorite. I’m using the extras for travel! The founder is a poetic soul — you should read the olfactory notes! She collaborated on them with two of her best friends, and the copy is deeply evocative. I also learned that all of the scents are inspired by the founder’s love of horses; she is an equestrian! She actually messaged me a photo of her with the horse named Durban Jane and said they rescued each other. So beautiful!)
OK, onward: so many good finds today.
First, this great look-for-less for my beloved Doen skirt is currently restocked and available in all sizes. I wear the Doen version constantly. It’s just the vibe I’m after this May — airy, feminine, carefree — and infinitely versatile!
Second, two great price breaks on summer skin products I love:
a) RMS Beauty’s Supernatural Radiance Serum (20% off a bundle of two). I wear this every single day. I blend it with Westman Atelier’s Foundation stick straight on my skin — meaning, I’ll apply a swipe of the stick on my forehead, cheeks, chin, and then a little squiggle of the RMS serum and blend with this magical Merit brush. It gives the most natural, glowy, blended, non-foundation-like look. Bonus: the RMS product is like skincare! Packed with great ingredients and SPF, but gives glow and a tad bit of coverage. I find it makes the Westman product blend beautifully into the skin. Anyway, you can get two for $58 here (20% off). I just ordered so I’m stocked for the summer!
b) Whitney Bowe’s excellent, award-winning Vitamin C serum is 25% off starting today. I have been using this the past few months and I absolutely love the formula and results. I have talked a lot about this, but my skin really responds (well, strongly) to vitamin c, and I have a few brands I love. Whitney Bowe has entered the winner’s circle, too — bonus points for the fact that it is scent-free and you can buy refills for the pump bottle (less waste). I also really like the consistency. My other preferred vitamin c products are in oil/liquid form, which is not the end of the world, but I like the ease of applying the Whitney Bowe “gel” formula.
Final note: I’ve been looking for a boxy gingham top to pair with my white Doen skirt. I finally found this PERFECT one but it’s out of stock in my size and I can’t find it anywhere else! (I can find the top, but in solid colors only.). Some options I’m considering instead: this Emerson Fry, this Le Bop…let me know if you find anything better!
FRANK AND EILEEN SHIRLEY BUTTON DOWN // J. CREW GINGHAM SHORTS // EMI JAY HAIR CLIP // ANINE BING OYSTER DRESS // MADEWELL SANDALS // POSSE GINGHAM TOP // PIXIE MARKET SKIRT // WHITNEY BOWE VITAMIN C SERUM (25% OFF) // ALA VON AUERSPERG BAG // RMS BEAUTY SUPERNATURAL SERUM (20% OFF BUNDLE OF TWO)
And one last segment for those in the market for some fabulous home/yard finds at a steal:
We inherited a set of white wicker patio furniture that has been just fine for the past few years but I’ve been casually perusing some more modern options, and in the midst of that hunt, discovered a great bistro chairs for a back patio — they come in several great colors (the red is so fun?) and are currently about $110 each. That led me to bop around at Wayfair and omg – there are a lot of really great deals on pieces that look much more expensive than they are (they launched their Mem Day sale early!), including this striped swivel armchair! I spent a lot of time looking for something exactly like this for Hill’s room when we first moved to Betheda. I wanted something I could read to him in / rock him in but that wasn’t super precious (little boys…), and that also had a fun print/stripe/pattern. I literally could not find this when I looked; everything was either way too expensive, boring, or had an unattractive pattern. (I ended up waiting for a year and finally getting him this.) If you are a mom looking to outfit your toddler’s room, this Wayair find is such a great score. Under $300, swivels, and has a fun nautical print! Win win win. Another really good find: this pouf ottoman, for under $70. You could actually use it as the foot rest for the striped swivel chair to add a little texture to the room, or could be a cute “coffee table” sub for a play area, and I also like the styling suggestion of using it beneath a console. Can be pulled out for extra seating, or just fills the blank space. And! I found a really classic-looking picnic bench for outdoor dining. This is such a great way to add outdoor seating on a budget. Forgo the chairs and just get two of these for either sides of the dining table! So classic, and only $106! Like, you’d be hard pressed to find one chair for that price.
OK, I’ll pause there but I really was so shocked and delighted by my finds! Especially the swivel chair — where was that three years ago?
RECTANGULAR PATIO UMBRELLA // INDOOR-OUTDOOR HERRINGBONE RUG // STRIPED SWIVEL ARMCHAIR // SCALLOPED TABLE LAMP // BRAIDED POUF OTTOMAN // RATTAN TEARDROP PENDANT // OUTDOOR BISTRO CHAIRS // ACACIA PICNIC BENCH
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I love that I’m not the only one sending my children to school in uniforms from the laundry basket. I also love that I’m not alone in referring to said uniforms euphemistically….they’re not dirty, just not from the dresser.
The Emerson Fry gingham top is great. Lightweight cotton and boxy but not too cropped. I’ve worn it with the matching skirt and Land’s End’s Doen knock off skirt.
Ohhh if you are looking for more modern yet sturdy outdoor furniture from Wayfair or online, would highly recommend Polywood brand, No need to cover or move for the winter (at least in the South), no need to, sand or repaint. We splurged on a dining set and.glider bench last Spring. Love!