There was a time when I imagined the friendships of my girlhood would ride on forever. We’d be Cher and Dionne or Buffy and Willow or Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore now and in fifty years. We would never stop trying on clothes in one another’s disprivacied closets or screaming Mariah Carey with newly-minted driver’s licenses or poorly smothering laughter at inappropriate times and places or allopreening in small mirrors in small apartments or making private, knowing eyes behind people’s backs or haughtily storming out of fraternity parties in solidarity-driven exits or forming makeshift shields for one another while peeing in bushes.
Now I know how rare and precious it is to have one that survives. Now I know to cup my hands around its flame. Because there is so much that appears to work against our intimacy: distance, having children or not having children, miscommunication, terrible grief, judgment, jobs that consume us, lives that point us elsewhere, illnesses, death. I have experienced or witnessed all of these and their friendship-dismantling aftermath. I have also experienced the inexplicable slow-drift-separation, where there’s no one thing to blame, no “Big Rip” phenomenon, just a soft schism that we can only chalk up to the plain fact that people change.
But the friendships that do persist, that somehow gain momentum and depth when you’re in the claggy quicksand of new motherhood or awkwardly grinning as you announce you’ve just been promoted — those are winged, aurifying things. They anoint and carry us, beholden to the quiet alchemy and effulgence of being seen as we are and loved for it. Listen: praise those celestine sisterhoods. Go out into the bluest hour and watch her draw up the sun and then sit alongside her in its far-shining daybreak.
Post-Scripts.
+There is something hallowed and holy in the friendships of girlhood.
+The experience of visiting my high school twenty years after I graduated.
+I’m a secretly bad book girl.
+Image via.
Shopping Break.
+Lots of fun barn jackets coming into stores; how great is this “crisp scarlet” one?!
+I ordered this cropped denim variation. (All my Shopbop hearts just updated here!)
+I love this cleanser so much I brought the full-size with me on an overnight trip to Charlottesville this week. I was in a sort of hurried rush to pack and felt I needed it so badly I brought the whole thing in the bag instead of using one of my smaller samples. I am addicted to its gentle, creamy, brightening qualities. I have tried at least a dozen cleansers in the past year or two and this is my favorite for everyday care. It cleans without stripping, and it feels so luxe and nourishing, too.
+A fun way to carry the jelly trend into fall.
+A great fall skirt. Pair with our favorite structured cardi!
+A $10 “first day of school” pennant that will arrive in two days! Speaking of back to school: my daughter is not really a pink girl, but I loveeed this pink on pink Owala. Add one of these vinyl letters to personalize! (And toss these bow ice packs into her lunch bag!)
+Great look for less for a La Ligne sweater. Love the blue/green colorway! While you’re there, if you’re a fan of their denim, all of it is 60% off. And I found a couple of cute items for kids, too: a football tee for your football-loving girl, a long-sleeved polo with a bulldog crest, and the cutest flannel.
+A great pair of gauze pants in a cute sage green color. Would look perfect with a striped tank or tee tucked in!
+A great upgrade to your front stoop this fall: a new jute mat, Portuguese house numbers, chinoiserie planters.
+Decorative matchbooks to tuck in with candles as a gift!
+Cutest blockprint jacket for your girl! My daughter spied these overalls over my shoulder while writing this post and said “oooh, those!!!”
+A great luxe gift for a mom or mother-in-law. (Happy birthday, Mom!). Also think these heart-shaped cases, personalized stationery from my friend Marion, or these elite sweatshirts make great gifts for moms.
+Fun red leather boots for a country music concert. (Pair with this!). More concert style ideas here.
+I have this jacket in a quilted ecru color from last year and LOVE it.
+Obsessed with these earrings.
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