I have been visiting with this poem by W.S. Merwin for the past week, reading it and re-reading it, pecking at its words at odd moments, a robin at wet earth. It’s a poem of tremendous cognitive dissonance, which must explain my determined orbit: on each new reading, I find different glints of sadness and joy that are difficult to disentangle from one another, which — I don’t know. Perhaps that’s the way of things, you know? All truth is paradox; many things can be true at once. And certainly life in its broadest canvas is that way: no calm without strife as its counterpoint, no success without firstling failures, no grief without its harbinger love.
But let me share the poem with you first:
It carries us to places, doesn’t it? To relief, to grief. To shock at the goodness and badness of the world. To the unreconcilability of our impermanence with the depths we feel while here. To the way even small things — a change in the weather, a wren chirruping its joy — can be a doorway to the sublime.
What does it draw from you? What emotion, what visual, what memory, what sound, what thought, what word?
The passage I love best: the visual of being in life “as in a strange garment.” Not an uncomfortable one–rather, one that leaves us perpetually surprised by its novelty. What a gorgeous headspace! Surprise should be our resting and neutral condition. Surprise is in fact our original factory setting. We enter the earth and everything is a shock to the system: it is cold and maddeningly loud; we want to return to the warmth and hush of mother. We must learn so much so quickly. We must discover our voices, and determine how to make sense of those shapes around us, and — everything is a jolt. I think it is the work of a grateful heart to be startled, delighted, bowled over by the world around us, even when the scenery is familiar, and the routines rusted. My children and I listen for birds most mornings and one day I found myself asking: “Anything interesting today?” I was curious if they’d heard one of the red-eyed vireos again (rare in our area), or caught a passing blue heron (which has happened twice). A wrong-footed question! I’ve avoided it fastidiously since. Because even the plain-jane passerines have things to tell us, and are worth our notice, and surprise. They tell us about the seasons and the incoming weather and the scarcity or abundance of food. They sing when no one else will. They never miss a sunrise. Which is to say, they are a paean of wonder and witness.
Anyhow, my musings this week about the receptivity index are pointing to the same place: how can I return to my original factory setting of surprise? How can I sweep back whatever has clouded over my vision, and case-hardened me? Let me embrace this day of small and luminous things.
Onward —
Post-Scripts.
*I followed my own advice this week and looked for a little bounty, a little lagniappe, on my morning walk/run circuit each day. It’s never hard to find. The day I wrote this post, I was awestruck by this cluster of crape myrtles in full bloom (seen at top). Just a riot of joyful blossom!
+A bit of fiction — one of my favorite things I’ve written.
Shopping Break.
AYR TEE // BEST BARREL JEANS (ON SALE) // TRANSITION TO FALL DRESS // PERFECT WHITE BLOUSE // FOR BOUNCY, HAPPY SKIN (USE CODE JEN20) // ROW VIBES FOR LESS // JVN VOLUMIZING SHAMPOO // A BOOK I’M LOVING
+A cute look for less for the Doen June top (I own this in red gingham) we all love so much.
+You all have been loving this new dress from HHH. One of you wrote and asked for styling ideas, saying you can’t stop thinking about it as a perfect transition-to-fall piece! I totally agree. Wear now/wear later ideas below.
WEAR NOW: DRESS // AMAZON SUNNIES // ELLEME BAG (ON SALE) // AMAZON JELLIES
WEAR LATER: DRESS // BLAZE MILANO BLAZER (SO GOOD) // TB BAG // SUEDE MULES
+OK, what doesn’t Saint Jane beauty do perfectly?! I am so obsessed with this line. Have I been living under a rock? I just discovered it in June via the mucin cream (beware, this will be your gateway drug to the entire line) and now every single item of theirs I use I love. (The cream is bananas — has like a stretchy, bouncy consistency that leaves skin so happy and plump and youthful and hydrated. Also includes my favorite skincare ingredient: niacinamide.) I’m now hooked on their melt-into-the-skin SPF. No white cast, just a slight blurring and glow. Eek! This brand knows what’s it doing. I asked if they’d give us a code and they obliged! Use JEN20. Try the mucin cream first!
+Need this red-and-white striped tee. I love a layer like this — slightly boxy to throw on over shorts and a tank after a workout; perfect with weekend jeans.
+I am a pretty big Jonathan Van Ness fan (back from the earlier Queer Eye days) and their team just sent me a sampler of the products from their hair care line. Reader, I squealed! Hopefully in a way that would delight JVN. The products arrived in the cutest shower caddy that gave me that excited back to school energy. I’ll share full thoughts after testing but they are known for their shine drops and air dry cream, and I am partial to anything that promises volume.
+Currently reading and truly enjoying Emily Henry’s latest book. I had bumped this down my TBR pile because the consensus I’d heard was that it was so different from her backlist, and I wasn’t sure what that meant, but it didn’t make me enthusiastic. I am finding it delightful! And very similar to her previous work — full of her signature humor and insight. I’ve been reading this at night before bed or when I wake up in a perimenopause sleep disruption. (Oy.). A great sidecar for this month’s book club pick, which I announced here (are you reading, too?!)
+The Nordstrom Anniv sale ends on 8/4. All my picks here – several fantastic items still in stock, including my favorite barrel jeans in a great fall color (go down a size), the invisible SPF spray I send in with my kids at camp, and a chic whipstitch-trim coat for fall.
+Well, I should say the Madewell barrel jeans tie with this pair from Mother in the Act Natural color, which they brought back this year. These were a Magpie reader rec and mama mia do I love them. A good amount of stretch, high waist, and do the barrel leg without too much drama. They were probably my most worn pair of jeans last fall/winter (yes, I wore them in the dead of winter!). All of my favorite jeans here.
+Major THE ROW vibes for less. (Compare with…!)
+I haven’t worn Lilly P in a minute but this romper was too cute! I love the little pocket and trim! They also have a cute tunic/shorts combo that turned my head.
+These applique pouches are so charming.
+Another good concert dress. Love love love. More concert outfit ideas here!
+Extra 50% off this perfect-for-hot-summer-days-at-home dress. These patterned shorts are also fun and easy (and also 50% off).
+Can’t get enough whimsical beaded necklaces this season!
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